While everyone else was waiting for the eclipse I had a totally different "lunar" experience. I use lunar in the sense of referring to the posterior part of our anatomy that we sometimes expose as a prank. Not so much that as the colon that leads to it.
If you have ever seen the movie "Bruce Almighty" and remember the monkey scene that is the closest that I can come to as far as what I went through last night. I am beating around the bush a little so as not to be too disgusting.
Over the last week and a half or so I have been pretty sick with the flu and my system has been a little messed up. That being said, over the last 3 or so day I have not needed to take a crap. Not that I shouldn't have, I have been eating like a champ. Well I thought I would be alright after I had the occasion to relieve a little pressure yesterday morning. But such was not the case. I work graveyard at a convenience store in Las Vegas and I have to wait til the store is empty so I can lock up and use the restroom. While I was waiting for one customer to lose his cash on the poker machine I had an overwhelming urge to crap. The hell with the rules I was going to lock the customer in the store and do my business. But, alas, this was also not to be the case. Literally from the time I got the urge and could head to the restroom (less than 30 seconds) my colon decided to let loose as I was walking their. I had absolutely no control. I felt as though that monkey coming in out the mexican guys ass in the afore mentioned movie was filling my shorts. I know, disgusting. But shit sometimes happens at inopportune times. The worst part is that all I could do was clean myself up as best as possible and go back to work as I work alone on the graveyard shift. This is an experience that I can honestly say that I hope never has the ocassion to occur again in my lifetime.
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